Frances Marie Jonker

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Frances Marie Jonker age 93 passed into glory on May 23, 2021. A sign on her bookcase said much about Frances Marie Jonker’s personal philosophy. It read, “Be nice or go home.”
Fran was often very nice. She volunteered at the local Christian school, giving extra tutoring to those who struggled with reading. Her work as a volunteer eventually transitioned into a job as a teaching assistant. There are decades of children at Grandville Christian Elementary School whose reading was improved by her encouragement and persistence.
Fran, or Frankie as she was called by some, held Bible classes and book reading clubs in her home. Through her church, she volunteered in an outreach program with children in a local trailer park and she volunteered in a Christ-centered prison re-entry program.
Fran maintained decade’s long friendships with many. Jess, Donna, Eleanor, and Marge. About Marge Mulder, a friend from childhood, she said, “That was a true friend.” While raising their families, the pair were neighbors and had coffee together most mornings. Children who were home from school remember the discussions, the laughter, and the sound and smell of a stove-top coffee percolator. Both women spent summers on Sand Lake, and when Marge’s family later purchased a cabin elsewhere, Frankie would visit for several days. There is a lovely photo of Frankie, Marge, and Donna wearing matching, brightly colored robes from one of those trips. Frankie wore that robe for years.
Of course, Frankie wasn’t only nice. As the sign on her bookcase suggested, there was also the “go home” side of her personality. She had little tolerance for religious hypocrisy, narrow-mindedness, or stupidity. Dour pastors, persnickety educators, and saccharin church women could quickly become the victim of her wit and mischievousness. In the sixties, the Christian school sent daughter Jana home for wearing jeans. Frankie found the rule absurd. In a fit of righteous anger, she sent the daughter back to school wearing the shortest miniskirt in the closet, even rolling up the waistband to give the skirt a more revealing hemline. Jana became a walking object lesson in the senselessness of the No-Jeans Rule. It’s very likely that incident gave the school administrator a new perspective on jeans.
When a smug Dutch pastor used the catechism class as an opportunity to shame daughter Jill for the supposed sin of dancing at hootenanny, Frankie thought to herself, “Why does that man think he is GOD!?” She made an appointment with the unfortunate pastor to give him a lesson in theology. The lesson was simple: You, Pastor, are not God. Years later she quipped, “If thunder had a face, it would have been that man’s. I left his office because I thought he would explode!”
Fran loved music. She had a baby grand piano in the living room and often played for her own enjoyment. She also taught piano. As a music lover, she encouraged her children and grandchildren’s musical interests. Her son Jack was an accomplished vocalist music educator, and the director of the Saginaw Choral Society. Fran and her mother, and later Fran by herself, trekked to Saginaw to attend each of the Choral Society’s performances and to go to Zorba’s restaurant after the concert to relive the performance with Jack and the choir. Many of her children sang, played the piano or guitar, or directed church music. Even the children who did not sing or play an instrument were avid fans of music, exploring many genres and styles, and amassing huge collections of albums and concert tickets. Frankie was adventurous in her musical tastes. She came to enjoy some of the music her sons played—even when it was played at volume levels that would have resulted in punishment in any other household. Earth Wind and Fire, Three-dog Night, and other upbeat music was among her favorites from her children’s music collection. She also loved Duke Ellington and Billy Strayhorn. She was a fan of classical music, as well. As COVID and her declining health made it impossible for her to attend concerts, she found great joy in live-streamed symphony concerts.
In her 70’s Fran challenged herself to learn a new instrument: the theater organ. At a time in life when many people would settle into a comfortable pattern, she challenged herself to learn difficult pieces and made new friends in the local theater organ scene. And she enjoyed a warm friendship with her organ teacher, Joel Garry.
Fran also loved reading. She encouraged her children to read with frequent trips to the library when her children were young. She enticed children to read classics by saying things like, “Oh, I think that book has a lot of swear words in it.” Several of her children became fans of Steinbeck through this little trick. Her own house was filled with books. As many five or six at a time were half-read and left on coffee tables or on the floor near a couch for easy access.
Her parenting was as unique as she was. Fran raised seven children with love and wisdom. She was a champion of her children and encouraged their reading, art, music, and exploring whatever they took an interest in. Even when her children were grown, she would ask about their creative endeavors prompting them subtly to get back to those piano lessons or take more art classes. She proudly displayed their works of art; Jason’s sculpture on her table and Judy’s paintings, stained glass art, and garden posts filling her home with pops of color and bursts of pride, and Jana’s framed quilts hanging on her wall.
Her children’s friends considered her the “cool mom”. Although she was keenly aware of times when her children misbehaved, she was not an interventionist. She chose her battles and played the long game, trusting and believing that most problem behaviors were a phase. She was more likely to give a knowing sideways grin and a humorous comment than a true reprimand. For example, Joel and his friend once played hooky from evening church services. Each told his parents that he was visiting the other’s church. When the pair snuck into the Jonker home during the church hour, they found Frankie in the kitchen. She wryly stated, “Well NOW who has egg on their face?” No lecture. No grounding. No consequences. She simply and clearly communicated that she saw through their trick and wasn’t going to let them enjoy their stolen time.
On another occasion, a group of Jason’s friends entered the Jonker home after school and helped themselves to snacks and sandwiches while they waited for Jason to get out of an after school detention. When Frankie arrived home before Jason, the friends darted for cover fearing they would be scolded for breaking and entering. But they soon found that Frankie was taking even more snacks and food from the fridge and pantry to feed the hungry crew.
In her final months, Frankie was lovingly attended by her son Jeff. She enjoyed bantering with him, watching British murder mysteries together, and ordering him around. She earned the tongue-in-cheek moniker her children gave her of “She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed.” Because of Jeff’s dedication, she maintained a substantial amount of autonomy and decision-making power over her last days.
There are no words to express the impact of her legacy on her children—or depth of the loss they feel. Even as her tether to this earth became increasingly loose, they treasured even the smallest interactions and moments with her. Their comfort is in the quality of the love they shared with her, the happiness of their memories, and in the promise of eternal life made possible through the person and work of Jesus Christ.
She was preceded in death by her son, Jack Bennet, her mother and father Lillian and Jacob A. Besteman, her brothers, Martin and Karst. She will be lovingly remembered by her children, Jillinda Kidwell, Jana Marie Plaisier, Jeffrey Scott Jonker, Judy Lynn Boogaart, Joel Todd Jonker, Jason Curtis Jonker, her many grandchildren and great grandchildren, special niece Lynn Bengelink, brother Judson and many others whose lives she touched.
A memorial service will be held at 2:00 PM on Friday, May 28, at First Cutlerville CRC, 1425 68th St. SW, Byron Center, Michigan with Pastor Ken Van Wyk officiating. Relatives and friends may meet the family from 1:00 – 2:00 PM at the church prior to the service. The Jonker Family, in consultation with the First Cutlerville Church and in alignment with CDC guidelines, advise that masks will be required upon entering the church. Those who are vaccinated, if they are comfortable, may remove their masks once they are seated. Social distancing will be observed.

In lieu of flowers the family suggests memorial contributions be made to the CWLK Resilient Recovery. Fran’s youngest son, Jason, is the founder and director of this ministry. Donations will be used to create the Frances Marie Jonker Memorial Scholarship. This scholarship will provide financial and technical support to pastors and congregations to develop programs that share the gospel with individuals in recovery from addictions and mental illness. Resilient Recovery is a ministry of Crosswalk Lutheran Ministries.
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