Eleanor Mae DeGraaf

Eleanor Mae DeGraaf (DeFouw, Bergsma) aged 96 of Grand Rapids, Michigan passed fully into God’s glory on June 17, 2024. Eleanor was predeceased by her first husband, Stuart K. Bergsma, and her second husband; David DeGraaf; two brothers, James (Joyce) and Robert (Shirley) DeFouw. She is survived by her children, Debra (Bergsma) and Michael Otte, Stuart and Nancy Bergsma, Scott and Ellen Bergsma, Bryan and Stephanie Bergsma, Steve and Christy Bergsma; her 13 grandchildren and their spouses; 19 great grandchildren. Also surviving are her three step-children, Jessica (Joe) Gragg, David (Amy) DeGraaf, Craig (Kelly) DeGraaf; 7 step-grandchildren and spouses; four step-great-grandchildren; her sister, Barbara Bouwman; and many nieces and nephews. Funeral services will be held Saturday, June 22 at 10:30 am at Hillside Community Church, 1440 68th Street SE, Kentwood, MI. Friends may meet the family on Thursday, June 20 from 2-4 and 7-9 at MKD Funeral Home, 4646 Kalamazoo Avenue, Kentwood, and 10-10:30 at church prior to the service. Those who wish may make memorial contributions to Christian Reformed World Missions (Resonate Global Mission).

Eleanor Mae DeGraaf was a loving daughter, sister, and wife; devoted mother, grandmother and great-grandmother; a faithful friend and beloved servant of Christ. She was sustained by her faith and found great joy and purpose in service to family, friends, the church, and the world. Always happiest when she could help in someway! Her faith held strong through multiple trials in life and she was the rock that so many of us relied on in dark times. Ellie was born to Maude (Kramer) and Jim DeFouw on April 25, 1928. She was the first of four children born within five years: Jim, Bob and Barb her siblings. Maude and Jim both worked multiple jobs to sustain the family through the economic depression of the early thirties. Ellie recounted eating oatmeal boiled for breakfast with blueberries and fried oatmeal for supper. Her parents managed to somehow sustain the family, provide shelter and food as well as to send all four children to Oakdale Christian School. Ellie often spent time with her grandma and grandpa Kramer - getting some individual attention and love. When Ellie was in her early teens, her parents purchased a cottage on Barlow Lake, where the family gathered for fun and vacation time. She had a circle of fun-loving girl friends during her time at Grand Rapids Christian School, graduating in 1947. The ‘girls’ rode around in a convertible or hitchhiked, often went to the beach. Ellie was usually the designated driver as her drink of choice was what she called a “Lake Michigan cocktail” (water). There are pictures of all of them picking cherries together (for money) and suntanning at the family cottage on Barlow. Ellie was the last surviving member of what they called “The Birthday Girls”, many of the same friends who celebrated their birthdays together over the years. She continued her education at Calvin College pursuing a degree in sociology with the goal of a career in social work. While at Calvin she met and in the summer of 1949, married, Stuart Kenneth Bergsma. She never finished her degree, but moved on to live a life supporting and nurturing those who needed her. Wherever she moved, and she moved often, Ellie made fast friends and nurtured those relationships throughout her life. She was the BEST friend. Ellie and Ken moved to Lansing where they built a house together. Ellie while pregnant with her first baby could be found nailing up plaster board, painting, shoveling snow. The neighbor refused to believe that Ellie had even been pregnant when they brought their first born, Debbie, home. They soon moved to Cutlerville where Stuart was born in 1953. In 1954 they decided to work as missionaries to Nigeria for the Christian Reformed World Mission Service. What a leap of faith Ellie made - she had never ventured much past Michigan, flown in an airplane, or had any real idea of what it might take to raise two small children on a bush station in Africa. But, off she went, trusting that she would be sustained in faith and find the strength to do whatever might be needed. She needed every bit of that strength when Stuart at age five came down with cerebral malaria, went into a coma and approached death - it was only through miraculous intervention that a pilot heard the SOS call that no else had - found Lupwe Station - and flew Ellie and Stu to Jos where he was revived. Given a furlough they travelled back to Michigan where their third child Scott was born. They completed a second term in 1960 and returned to Lansing, Michigan. Ken pursued his PhD. There while Ellie took care of the growing family. Her fourth child Bryan was born and they soon moved to Marquette, Michigan. Seven moves in 15 years!! Ken went ahead and purchased a small pink ranch house that did not meet Ellie’s standards - she scrubbed and cleaned and painted and made it home. Ellie’s artistic talent was evident in every one of those houses she made into a home. She sewed curtains, drapes and pillow covers, put up wallpaper, reupholstered furniture and more. Their fifth child, Steven, was born before the family moved to Orchard Lake, Michigan. There for six years, Ellie helped to found the North Hills Christian Reformed Church with a small group of other families. After yet another move, back to Grand Rapids, Ellie and Ken divorced. Ellie decided to accept the job of Costume Shop Supervisor at Calvin College, and worked there for several years. Both her sewing skills, as well as her talent for making people around her feel appreciated and understood, made the job a great fit. Ellie then transitioned to an administrative position for the Christian Reformed World Missions. As a former missionary, she was well equipped to help those going overseas, obtaining appropriate paperwork, passports, visas and helping to determine the goods needed for shipment, etc. She loved that she could help people on their mission journeys and support them. Ellie next worked for National Financial Services, also in an administrative assistant capacity. She enjoyed learning more computer skills and figuring out the work of insurance and finance. It was at this time Ellie met David DeGraaf and found a new soul mate. They were deeply in love and married January 1, 1983. They settled together in a home on the Thornapple River that over the following 25 years served as a joyful place for both David and Ellie’s children and grandchildren. David and Ellie formed their life around their love for God and for each other. Ellie loved David with her whole heart and it was obvious that David loved her completely. They read the Bible every day and Ellie particularly loved Psalm 23. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want”. She knew the truth of the promises as evidenced in her life. They loved to scavenge through antique shops, take walks together, go to the beach, even go camping together. Most evenings they played a game of Gin. Vacations were often spent with family: a cottage rented with Jessica and Joe and their children, a family reunion in New York with Ellie’s kids and grandkids, or trips to visit family. They took a train trip cross-country to Washington and back. Ellie’s faith also included her church. Sunday worship was a priority her whole life. Ellie and David were often greeters for the service, making everyone feel welcome and meeting new friends. They were long time members of Bible Study Fellowship. Ellie was a Shepherd Leader and when not in an official position, still looked for ways to spiritually and physically support friends, family and acquaintances.